Do you ever have days where you wonder just what the Universe was thinking? I often question just how it was that I was allowed to become a parent. No qualifications, few relevant skills, no natural aptitude. All I can say is, the Universe is lousy at Human Resources.
Every day I am anxious at the decisions I make, at the possibility that I am messing up the relationship once again, or ruining the children's chances of success in some worldly sphere because of my many inadequacies in preparing them for life. Daily I am impatient and angry and I regularly think longingly of boarding school, not only for some peace and quiet, but because I am convinced that somewhere there are people, professionals, who could be doing a better job than I am.
Today all the girls have revolting colds, and I have abandoned them as much as possible to escape to the garden to weed the vegies and the jungle-like lawn. Such a relief to be out of earshot of the appalling sniffing and coughing. They have been cheerfully playing with Lego and reading, and are now baking germ-laden ginger biscuits, and thankfully I have only been recalled intermittently to adjudicate over Lego fights and Whose Turn It Is To Lick The Bowl.
If this sounds like a terrible, whiny moan, well it is. I am eternally grateful for my mostly healthy and happy petals. I just wish I had some Mary Poppins-like figure on hand to compensate for my manifest parenting incompetence..
Historic and overcast with sun.
8 hours ago